Really Listening

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Brothers and sisters, choose seven men from among you who are known to be full of the Spirit and wisdom. We will turn this responsibility over to them … This proposal pleased the whole group. They chose Stephen, a man full of faith and of the Holy Spirit; also Philip, Procorus, Nicanor, Timon, Parmenas, and Nicolas from Antioch, a convert to Judaism.
- from Acts 6:3-5

The leaders of the early church confront their shortcomings and come up with an empowering solution to the problem.

Remember, the Greek widows were being overlooked in the distribution of food. The leaders could have disputed that facts or could have defended their intentions (they didn’t mean for that to happen!). They could have buried the complaint under a mountain of detail questions: “How many were overlooked and for how long and by how much? What are their names, addresses, phone numbers? Have they passed drug tests?” They could have ignored the complaint altogether (they did have other important work to do). Instead, they listened.

Listening is a powerful response to a complaint. The leaders in the early church didn’t just hear the surface of the complaint, they listened until they understood the substance of it. At its core, the complaint wasn’t just about the distribution of food. It was about the distribution of authority and of care.

Think about it. How would you have solved this problem? If the problem is just about getting food to widows, the leaders could have just added those widows to the list. But if the problem is deeper and broader, a different solution might be required.

The leaders empowered the community to pick from among them people they trusted and respected. Seven men with Greek names were chosen. New Greek leaders were placed in charge of making sure all of the widows in the community were fed: the Greek widows and the Hebrew widows. They were given a meaningful responsibility and empowered to serve.

This solved a problem that everyone wanted to be solved. The early church was fiercely committed to taking care of their widows, orphans, and others who were vulnerable. No one wanted the Greek widows to be overlooked, so they empowered Greek deacons to ensure that their mutual purpose of caring for all their widows was going to be accomplished. The church’s radical commitment to caring for one another as family was, humanly speaking, perhaps the most significant thing they did to catapult the church into their mission to bring the gospel to the ends of the earth. They took a significant step towards “mission accomplished” here, with this deliberate decision.

When people bring complaints or frustrations to you, do the hard work to listen well to them. Hear what’s on the surface, but also take time to listen more deeply.

Here are some examples of listening deeply might be needed:

  • When a child is expressing exasperation
  • When a spouse is expressing frustration
  • When a friend is expressing exhaustion
  • When an ethnic community is expressing fear
  • When a neighborhood is expressing anxiety

Taking the time to listen rather than being dismissive is one of the best ways to show love and to prepare the way for a major breakthrough. And God will fill us with the power and wisdom to listen when we ask.

Where do you need to do some listening this week? In which relationships and situations do you find it difficult to listen?

1 Comment

This has Jesus--Love--written all over it...through and through!! Thank you!! :^)

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